I got an early start today somehow hoping it will shake off the restlessness. There is just so much going on right now.I have three more weeks here in alaska and then i will be going home...its been nearly two years since ive had running water or light in my room, a table to draw at ,or the ability to walk to a coffee house and sip tea and let the mind unwind.Im nervous about what im going to do. for so long ive been telling my family that art was my career of choice but now i relize it was only a metaphore...i was speaking in terms they could understand.I dont want a career of any sort and when i say art is my career of choice what i really mean is ,its the thing i like to do.Am i opposed to making money at art?no,ofcourse not but i wont be subjected to deadlines..or people telling me what should be coming out..i dont have the ability to make art a craft or a skill its mearly a purging of a restless man...i could attribute alot of mystical ideas and deep thought behind drawing but in truth i dont have a clue what it is. i know it feels important and comforting and exciting to me but what it is for others is just out of my scope of understanding,...it is what it is